THERE’S NO SWEAT !!!

Spring 2000 Issue 38

WELCOME BACK TO THE STROLLER NEWSLETTER ?

For the record, this is the first Stroller Newsletter since July 1999. Has it been sorely missed ? Well that’s not for me to say, only that from time to time Strollers offer me some ideas to publish for the next issue – and then there is always Dicka who still has a trained eye, nose and ear for anything that might embarrass or ridicule our fellow member’s reputation or image. My saved E mail is nearly full of offerings from Dicka – so beware you have been warned !!! One last point the Newsletter is only mean’t to be a bit fun – some 90 % is untrue or so I have been informed !!!!

STROLLER UPDATE or "school report"

Where better to start than to give a timely update on how some of us are all doing with our greatest love, the reason why we all report down here like lost sheep on a Wednesday night : running – and who better to start with than our hairy friend –
Dicka – could do a lot better and more effort required. Seems to be increasingly distracted by the lures of Sweet Cider. On the odd occasion that he does roll out of bed to run he is a persistent moaner, showing that he is probably reaching a premature male menopause.
Cosie – has always been a trier and now seems to be catching the medium pack. Keep up the good work.
Keith Turnbull – like Cosie has been putting in a lot of effort recently and now seems to be catching up the slow pack !!
Bob Blair – Bob’s recent omission from the club’s original top 12 to compete in the Northern’s 12 man relays hit him hard and has recently increased his mileage and rejoined the fast pack. Minus his moustache Bob’s times could come down rapidly.
Bruce Davison – Bruce is still the fastest racer we have over the first 40 yards and has numerous Echo photographs to prove it.
Woody – John’s recent running career has resembled that of a German Stuka dive bomber and now only gets out occasionally. Spends most of his spare time these days in a temporary job with the Council acting as a part time traffic roundabout.
Steve Ramsden – has recently made the best comeback since Apollo 13 limped home. Torn groin muscles as a result of his extra curricular activities in Luxembourg jeopardised his his running career but has come back a better runner (does that slaver qualify me for extra meat pie ?)
Chirpy – “Alas poor Chirpy I knew him well “. Currently creating new p.b’s for downing pints of John Smith’s…………… and as for running: I’ll not upset him.
Malcolm Cox – in peak condition at the moment – still burping and farting for the rest of the club.
Ian Maxwell – the silver fox still loves a running challenge : the hillier and more off road the better. Unfortunately his self set challenges these days seem to be how much he can drink the night before a race and still compete (of sorts) the day after.
Phil Tweddle – will soon achieve his main ambition with the Strollers – being a non running Chairman.
Phil Watson – our most recent veteran runner is still at his womanising best with an almost unquenchable thirst for Strollette conversation and running company.
Alan Robertson – caught walking one of the 8 min sessions the other week – enough said !!
Richie Bowman – this lad gets skinnier the more he runs – but for his skin colour would not be out of place in Upper Volta.

STROLLER / STROLETTE GENDER BENDER REVEALED

Name : Richard Bowman

Weekend Name : Evette

Born : Portsmouth docks

Favourite colour : black during the week otherwise pink

Favourite Fruit : bananas

Favourite groups :Queen, Elton John and AC/DC.

Favourite food : toad in the hole and savaloy dips

Favourite place visited: Cockermouth

Most embarrassing situation : being chatted up by a pissed Steve Ramsden whilst plying his part time trade in Luxembourg

CHIRPY & BIG NORMAN

Its always sad when a fellow club runner has to hang up his/her trainers – its with much sadness therefore that Big Nom and Chirpy seem to be heading that way. Big Norm lives over the road to me and seems resigned to the fact that in veterinary terms he is now horse meat whilst Chirpy will be more commonly seen on a bike.
So be warned if you hear a farting noise emanating from it’s rear end (sounding rather like a mallard duck ! ) then its likely to be Chirpy going for another cycling p.b.
Personally, Chirpy will be a big miss on the race scene as we had some good battles around 1996/7 and he was always a reliable counter in Woodys All Star cross country team.
So chins up fellas running is not all that it’s cracked up to be so enjoy your carpet bowls, knitting and reading we’ll not be far behind you in the retirement stakes !!!

STROLLER CONVERSATIONS

Quote “that’s the best I’ve ran in ages: I really enjoyed that race, in fact I’ve been running crap since ……….. Let me see now, yeah since 1992”
(Eddie ‘Hairdo’ Airson after Blyth Valley

The Club A.G.M.

And so it’s that time of year again when we rush back in from running and talk club business at the AGM.
Well I can exclusively reveal that Chairman Phil is going to make some earth shattering announcements !
1.Phil is sick of making running come backs and being left behind on a Wednesday night so he is going to be a non running Chairman.
2.The Puma Centre is going to be our new home because they make bacon sarnies
3.A coach will be provided for Tony Howe for Keswick 2001
4.There will be no farting in the Ashbrooke lobby way when listening to Bob’s instructions
5.There wilL be no more picking on Woody and referring to his weight problem BE THERE - 25th MAY 2000

NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A RACE !!

True story !!
A mate of mine went down to the Tottenham v. Sunderland match last weekend. The night before he and his mates went around Central London for a booze up.
At approximately 1.00 am in the morning around Leicester Square they were overtaken by roughly 300 female runners racing for Breast Cancer wearing only some bottoms and bras !!
Woody – make enquiries and get the entry forms I‘ll go in drag !!!

Run back home