GOODBYE DAWN !!
July 1999 Issue 36JUST WHY DID DAWN LEAVE THE STROLLERS ?
Being out injured for sometime it came as quite a shock when I heard that Dawn was leaving the Strollers. Despite a number of weeks lapsing since her decision I have yet to get a firm reason why and where she is going ! I have been given a variety of reasons which just seem to confuse the situation including :1.Dawn was sick and tired of having her nipples shred to bits wearing the Stroller top.
2. Nobody would talk to her – the truth was, was that you couldn’t get a word in edge ways.
3. She wanted to join a running club where she may be able to win more team prizes.
4. Being a Stroller and having a coach was a bit of an contradiction in terms !
5.She didn’t like any of Bob’s sessions – I find that strange because I can’t remember her doing any !!
6.She didn’t have any female competition within the club – (Woody’s words)
7. Only 3 Strollers turned up for her 40th birthday do !
8. She was fed up of the Sunday morning joke about ‘Dawn’s back passage’
9. She couldn’t keep up with the Strollers drinking habits.
10. Someone told her that she may have to join Ashbrooke Club.
11. Kevin Carr threatened not to mention her again in the Echo if she didn’t finish with the Strollers.
Anyway, whatever the reason for going I wish Dawn the best of luck – but I hope every Stroller will be out to beat her !!
Many thanks to Dicka for acquiring the photos – he has used the top pic’ as a screen saver for his computer. Dawn is seen trying on her new running club colours and attire for ………… the Cramlington Runners and Peddlers (C.R.A.P.). Sorry about the fuzzy second photo.
FIL THE PHIREMAN’S JOKE CORNER !!
Whats the difference between a run in the country and Deliah Smith ?One's a pant in the country !!
What's the difference between Paula Yates and the English cricket team ?
After both being f****d by Australians Paula Yates came back with the ashes !!
Yours in sport, (isn't that sickley)
Phil Watson
HOW NIPPY ARE THE NIPS ?
Mark Feeley the club’s answer to Micael Palin is as many of you will realise working in Japan. Whilst there he is of course dabbling in a bit of running seeing whether he is any nippier than the nips. Mark has recently been in touch with Dicka on the E Mail and has said his job is crap and being the rainy season it’s pissing down all day. In fact he is regularly offered the use of an umbrella from Japanese bystanders as he runs by. It would seem therefore that Mark will be back with us soon displaying that familiar upright stomping style of his. Obviosly not put off by working in a country where talk a strange language and write in a funny alphabet he is now considering a greater challenge by working in Scotland where he will have no chance of understanding the natives !THE CHAIRMAN’S NEW ZEALAND HOLIDAY ROMP
By Paul ThomasPaul Thomas our ‘fat bastard’ in New Zealand regularly sends E mails … If you have ever wondered what Chairman Phil gets up to when he’s on holiday with Paul and Linda then read Paul’s recent message ...
I know it is a bit of a cheek using the e mail addresses of all the Strollers in order to get a message to chairman Phil, but lets face it it is too expensive to phone up GB all the time. Anyway, you all get to read his personal mail.
Dear Phil.
As feared , the girl you brought back to the flat that night has developed
AIDS. I think that as you are well into the incubation period you should
have another blood check. I told you to use a condom! Anyway, I have since
found out that the girl is a member of the Karori Mongrel Mob. An unpleasant
group of people whom exact their own form of punishment. Stay low for a
while. I have finally sorted out the insurance claim for the car crash when
you borrowed my car. However, the police will be contacting you via interpol
in order to retrieve court costs and the payment of the fine. I did not
give them your address but there got a warrant to search the flat and took
my address book. You may still be deported back to NZ to face criminal
charges.
Apart from that everything is fine over here. We received your letter and t
shirts. The extra large one must be mine. Thanks very much.
PS The cat is called Floyd.
Fat Bastard.
Does anyone want to be the new Club Chairman when the scandal hits Kevin Carr’s athletics page ?
Anyway, Paul and Linda appear to be ‘fit’ (not Paul) and well and enjoying life in New Zealand.
Please write soon
STROLLERS NIGHT OUT MARRED BY THE MAFIA !
Well, it had to happen eventually, the Strollers have a cad in their midst.On Saturday, 26th June, at Fullwell Fire Station, a crime of unimaginable nastiness was perpetrated by a member of our club. Investigations by our undercover reporter had revealed that the Mafia have, for many years, been defrauding church raffles and Sunday School coffee morning bingo out of their hard earned, charitable donations. But the local leader of this callous group had never been identified. So, a scheme was dreamed up to entrap one of the heartless hoods and expose, finally, the evil that lurks in our midst. Now, at last, we can exclusively reveal that the leader of this ruthless ring of reprobates is none other than strollette LINDA RAINE!
So what was the nature of Miss Raine's cold, callous, crime? On the night in question, Miss Raine was sold a number of raffle tickets. She won a prize, well nothing strange there. Then she won another prize... then she went on to win a third time! This is about as likely as Linda finding a fella. So, with odds that long, people got suspicious and checked their raffle tickets a little more closely only to find that the number called was 352 and Lawless Linda claimed the prize with ticket number 325! Linda had claimed Fireman Phil's prize! How many other prizes has she pinched in the past? If we weren't all too drunk to care, there would have been uproar!
But do you think brazen Raine was remorseful? Not a chance! Her reaction was to bribe her way out by using a box of Roses chocolates she'd just fraudulently 'won' in the raffle! She's certainly got balls!
STROLLER CONVERSATIONS
Dicka passed this message over to me about what he had heard the other club night:Geoff,
the following is a quote from Steve Wills' missus. She doesn't want it printed so perhaps you can find room in the newsletter in the foot'n'mouth column!
Anne Wills:
I thought Colin Glass's wife looked fat but I didn't want to say that so I asked him if she was pregnant.
"No", he says, "she's just fat".
And then there’s taxi man Allen Routledge shouting over to everyone with the Ashbrooke payphone in his hand
“Does anyone know any phone numbers for taxi firms”
Conversation between Phil Watson, Geoff Prior and Gerry O’ Brian about 10 minutes before the start of the Redcar
Half Marathon. Gerry (looking rather apprehensive)
“Geoff, have you any Vaseline for my groin”?
Geoff – No, but apparently if you have a ‘ham shank’ and use that stuff it works just as well”
(Sandra Quinn then wanders over to see what we are talking about.)
Phil – “Sandra, have you got a spare hand for a couple of minutes”
Wishful thinking on Phil’s behalf – I reckon it would take at least 20 minutes !!!
CLUB WEBSITE
Remember to check out Dicka’s excellent club website that can be found via Sunderland.com then clicking on ‘leisure’.He has had over two thousand visitors to the site already !!!!
Why not E Mail Newsletter articles to me on the.priors@cwcom.net
Run back home