TONY GAIR’S TRAINERS

MARCH 1999 Issue 35

DAWNS HAVING A PARTY

Dawn Elliot, the nearest thing the Strollers have to a celebrity (Woody, alias Wallace excepted) is to have a party on 14th May 1999 to celebrate (wait for it) her 40th birthday. Now we are all invited, but read on and concentrate as you can’t just turn up ! The venue of the party is at the Police club at Gilbridge ( to Tony Howe that is next to the Town Hall at South Shields) with a start time to be confirmed. Dawn however, needs to hand in a list of everybody’s name and address who wants to attend. So if you want to come along and call her an old slag on the night make sure that you complete the form on the reverse of this Newsletter and hand it over to Dawn or Keith as soon as possible so that she can inform the fuzz and order the caviar and encrutes.Failure to do this basically means that you can’t come, which for Woody is nothing new these days. This clart on is apparently something to do with their licence regulations and to prevent super sleuth Rodger Garrington from getting in. Nearly fogot – entry is only guaranteed if you are wearing 70’s dress on the night. So Chirpy can take the moth balls out his Wetherall’s suit once again and of course Uncle Richie will be alright as he has plenty of gear from the 1870’s. Remember get those forms filled in as soon as possible and pass them onto Dawn.

Dawn asked me to say ‘thanks’.

SO WHY CALL THE NEWSLETTER ’TONY GAIR’S TRAINERS’ ?

Don’t get me wrong and all that, Tony Gair is a nice chap and I’ve had many a long conversation with him on a Wednesday night but their comes a time when you have to embarrass people for their own good. Last Autumn or so Tony tripped up during one of sessions and wrecked his shoes. Several months later he is still wearing his Dunlop Green Flash equivalents and ruining his knees in the process. Come on Tony, you tight arsed git get your hands in your pocket and cough up for a new pair.

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
Harriers V. Strollers

How many times has a friend during a conversation said to you: “I saw you out running the other night – you were with a large bunch of runners. I think it was last Tuesday” My natural reaction would be to walk away in disgust. I mean, Strollers running with Harriers on their own club night – but quite obviously they only thought that they had seen me out with the Harriers. It is after all quite an easy mistake to make. How then could this identity crisis be resolved ? Well, for a start I thought that I would list the difference between two typical runners of each club so that the average layman could distinguish between the clubs – here we go:
1.All Harriers are git skinny ‘like’ whilst us Strollers are more like medium build to pleasantly plump(not counting Woody who is pregnant).
2.Strollers run in any clobber that they can get their hands on (one look at Dicka would confirm this) whilst Harriers look more like fashion statements as they show off their latest race winning attire.
3.Harriers won’t race unless they are 100% fit. Strollers have been known to race 4 times in a week !
4.Strollers have normal shaped heads whilst Harrier’s heads slope sharply at their forehead at 45 degrees. This is not because it creates less wind resistance to enable them to run faster but because they have part of their brains missing – the personality part of their brain.
5.Strollers are capable (and willing) to run the morning after having 10 pints of metholated spirits at Mowbray Park. Harriers drink Britvic 55’s.
6.Harriers don’t have Christmas do’s and come to ours instead where they mingle with beer swilling runners with a sense of humour and personality.
7.Harriers don’t give a jot if a newcomer is left way behind during a running session.
8.Harriers win everything. The Strollers win nowt and have to create their own championship and handicap for anybody to win anything(Dawn excepted).
9.Lets be honest the Harriers are dead jealous of our Strolettes and would like to get their hands on them (so would I for that matter)
10.Whilst we may not be able to beat them at running take heart – we can beat them at lots of other things like – eating (Dicka), farting (Chirpy), burping (Malcolm) and talking (Sandra Quinn).
Please forward any other differences onto Kevin Carr c/o The Sunderland Echo.

Web Site attracts South African elite runners to the club!

I’ve recently acquired a new computer complete with a modem and I am now surfing on the Internet with my very own E Mail address. I’ve got to give credit where it is due and congratulate Dicka on a superb web site devoted to the Sunderland Strollers. It also has a very sweet photograph of John Cosgrove and John Wilson hand in hand doing the London Marathon. It’s Dicka’s web site which has attracted more foreign stars to the club – this time from South Africa. I believe that Dicka circulated the E Mail received from Jane and Bradley Swain which indicated that they were arriving in Sunderland later this month. You may have also noticed that they were concerned that some Strollers may think that their accent was Australian which they can’t abide. To help them settle at the club therefore I’ve listed overleaf some well used South African phrases for you to practise which when used will help Jane and Bradley feel at home!!! Why not E Mail Newsletter articles to me on the.priors@cwcom.net

DAWN IS ON T.V.

At last Dawn Elliot’s recent winning form has been recognised by the media with a T.V. interview which will be broadcast on the ‘Local Channel’ which can be found on Cable telly. Dawn has since informed me that she has signed up for ‘A Question of Sport’ next month …… or did she say ‘Ashbrooke Uncovered’ ?

BIRTHDAYS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO:
Derek Dixon – 7th March – 48 yrs
Lesley Haldene – 11th March - 37 yrs
Sandra Maxwell – 20th March - 41 yrs
Chris Swailes – 24th March – 38 yrs
Mickey Crozier – 16th April – 51 yrs
‘Dicka’ - 23rd April – 36 yrs
Tony Howe – 9th April – 27 yrs
Wilson McKnight – 13th April- 43 yrs
Joe Swann – 22nd April – 42 yrs
Paul Taylor – 7th April – 45 yrs
Carol Vinter – 28th April – 50 yrs
Derek Wright – 27th April – 49 yrs

HERE ARE YOUR SOUTH AFRICAN PHRASES TO PRACTISE

(to make Jane and Bradley feel at home)
1.Hello Bruce
2.Hello Sheila
3.Wheres the tinnies?
4.Put another kangaroo steak on the barbie
5.Aren’t those whinging poms crap at cricket

Run back home