BIG NORMAN IS 50!
OCTOBER 1997 Issue 30CRIMEWATCH U.K. seek information from Strollers
It’s an honour and a privelge when somebody or something far bigger than yourself comes to seek your advice and help.
It came as a complete surprise therefore when the producer of BBC’s CRIMEWATCH U.K. television programme faxed me at work seeking some editorial space in the Stroller Newsletter.
Despite numerous enquiries around the counnty and indeed in the Paris area last September 1996 the Police are still no further forward in catching a particular cunning con - man.
Having agreed to assist the Police to publicise their search they have provided me with a rather murky photograph and a few notes about this tricky criminal’s escapades.
Seen regularly in the North East of England this trickster cons his way into many scams including:-1.Impersonating a running coach at a local running club when he hasn’t a clue what he is doing !
2.Running raffles and bingo sessions on coaches and issuing edible prizes long past their sell by dates
3.Owning a car repair garage - sources say he used to stand on street corners and try and encourage motoring accidents to improve business.
4.Sell running attire and not forwarding the goods onto the people who had paid in advance.
Mr.& Mrs. Maxwell of Ski View Sunderland it would appear are the latest victims of this cruel man. “I’ve ordered a pair of shorts and some tracksters from this bugger some 6 months ago, paid in full and I’m still waiting for them” said a rather irate Mr. Maxwell “I’ve almost kissed my money goodbye, at least my husband’s money anyway” said Mrs. Maxwell who is still waiting for a thermal top. Anyway it’s Mr. & Mrs. Maxwell who have been able to provide the Police with a photo and description of this rogue as shown ;- He is seen here semi naked and showing off his rather distinctive tattoos of an eagle in flight and a coat of arms saying “South Shields rules O.K. WW” Other notable distiguishing features are a growing pot belly, a love of strange underpants, a South Shields accent and a disliking to any sort of foreign food especially garlic. Should anyone know someone who matches this description or indeed someone who has seen him trying to run in the Leechmere or Moorside areas please do not hesitate to contact CRIMEWATCH U.K. on Tel. No 69696969. Please note:- There is a reward with this particular case for any information that might lead to the conviction of this con - man ( sponsered by Maxwell’s DIY) of two extra Wednesday night raffle tickets.
HANDS UP THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT WON ONE OF MICKEYS RAFFLE PRIZES DESPITE BUYING TICKETS WEEK IN WEEK OUT ..........
HELLO DARIO - FROM ESPANIA
Those of you with long memories will remember that the Newsletter has for some months now been surfing on the net. To be more precise Dicka who is on the Internet has been transmitting the rag poorly disguised as a running clubs Newsletter around the world. God only knows what the world at large thinks about us. Anyway, who on earth would bother reading it, after all the dear old Newsletter is competing against the worlds newspapers, technical articles, mail messages never mind porno photographs (ah, is that why Dicka is on the Internet). Well you never know how wrong you can be because Dicka has last month received E - Mail correspondence from foreign parts. So incase he is reading this article when it’s on the net again it’s;- HELLO DARIO ESPINOZA ! Now then like us Strollers, Dario is a finely tuned athlete who loves his running - the only two differences I can make out are that he is a bit younger than us - 19 years old (only a little bit older) and he is a bit faster as well for he can run the 1500m in 3min 58 secs or the 3000 metres steeplchase in 8 mins 58 secs and was 3rd in his age catagory in the SPANISH CHAMPIONSHIPS ! Now by Dicka’s calculations this Whippet is fast enough to beat Brian Rushworth over any distance and would still have time to dance a Flamenco. Which makes very interesting reading because he is interested in joining the Strollers when he starts at Sunderland Universty this month ! This begs some serious questions because as Dario has said in his message .... “I would like to do some cross country” can we not get him running in our squad so that he can piss all over the poor Harriers in the Durham Pine League ? Anyway I think Woody is looking into the legal technicalities of that one. But it does make you think doesn’t it ... I mean we may even attract some student type Kenyans ....... and before you know we will be like Derby Co or Chelsea football teams fielding a team foreigners. Anyway hope to see you soon Dario ................... Geoff & DickaBIG NORMAN FELCE HITS THE BIG 50 !!!
Mr. Felce the ever youthful looking veteran will turn 50 on 28th October. Mr. Felce, Oil of Ulay’s most wanted model joins the ever increasing band of over 50’s that includes Ernie, Bruce and Richie to name but a few. I say Mr. Felce because when I first met him it was Mr. Felce or else you would get the strap because he taught at Bede School when I was a promising full back for the school football team aged 13. He later left to take another teaching post and that’s the last I saw of him until I moved in over the road to him 6 years ago ....... and the bugger doesn’t look a day older. Have a super birthday Norman ! - keep taking the pills !THE LAST STROLLER NEWSLETTER ?
Unfortunately owing to several factors the Newsletter is to be temporarily suspended until such a time when I or if I get back to running again. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep abreast of everthing going on at the club when you’re not actually running yourself. I’m proud to say however that this issue marks the 30th consecutive Newsletter - I’ve even been able to turn them out in months when I’ve been on a fortnights holiday! Indeed the Newsletters have been produced entirely within my own time on my p.c. and not at work which some of you may think. I do hope to relaunch the Newsletter some time in the near future as that will mean that I have recovered from my injury but I don’t have much hope as the knee problem seems to be a long term affair. It only leaves me to thank everyone who contributed either directly or indirectly to the Newsletter to keep it going for so long. Special thanks go to Dicka who contributed a number of articles and cartoons and was the butt of many of my stories, Ernie, John Wilson, Phil Watson and Ian Maxwell for his scanning expertise. Last but not least an apology to Chirpy who must be the most written about Stroller mainly on his farting prowess. HOPE TO WRITE TO YOU SOON - GEOFFHAPPY STROLLER BIRTHDAYS
Norman Felce -28th October - 50 yrs
Tommy Docherty - 14th Oct - 56yrs
Brian Finnie - 22nd Oct - 38 yrs
Gerry O’Brian - 6th Oct - 47 yrs
Dave Pounder - 4th Oct - 44yrs
Steve Ramsden - 13th Oct - 46 yrs
Alan Tait - 6th October - 40 years
John Wilson - 30th Oct - 54 yrs
WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
from everyone at the Strollers
Run back home