Sunderland Strollers NewsJANUARY 1997 Issue 21 |
|
Sunderland High School teacher and Strolette Kim Easton has revealed her true inner feelings about juvenile punishment.Kim, who teaches at the High School adjacent to Ashbrooke club I can reveal is a firm but caring and understanding German teacher within the classroom. Once out of her teaching robes however, she freely expresses her true feelings when dealing with unruly kids!! Nightmare on Elm Street part 1 soon became Nightmare on Silksworth Lane for two kids who thought it would be a good idea to leap out from behind a bus shelter to shock our two lasses (Kim and Lesley). After the initial shock and then readjusting their knickers (which seemed all of a sudden uncomfortable) Kim, duly pinned one of the kids to the wall in a vice like grip around the jugular much to the concern of the poor kid who was frantically trying to breathe and the Northumbria Policeman on patrol in his car who was watching the attempted murder !! Fortunately for Kim, the Copper had witnessed everything and ticked off the kids for being mindless morons / glue sniffers ( or something like that ). As for Kim however, her punishment was slightly different as she now has to write 500 lines of ...... “I promise not to try and murder anymore kids whilst out running - with the exception of a certain Phillip Watson”. Let that be a lesson to everyone - before you try to throttle one of those little bastards make sure there are no Policemen about (with the exception of Rodger ‘Under the Board Walk’) Garrington of course !!!! Kim has got a neck for owt !!! |
Many, many many congratulations go to our very own Jackie Pitt who last month gave birth to a baby girl weighing in at 10 ton 14 stones.
Doctors at the Sunderland General Hospital said that the birth went very well and would like to thank the nurses for their effort and Coles Cranes for providing the hoist and stomach scaffolding for the last 9 months. Sandra and Linda are holding a collection for a present for the Strollite please see them with some lolly. Thanks.
Congratulations to Eddie Airson for winning jointly with his squad second place in the Councils ‘Binmen of the year award !!!!
The Strolettes will agree that Graham Young won the Mr. Wet Underpants competition at the Xmas do by approx 4” following the beer chucking after the drinking competition. |
STROLLERS SNUB KEVIN KEEGANWhilst all of the world’s press desperately seek the whereabouts of a certain ex. Newcastle United football Manager called Kevin Keegan the Newsletter can reveal that Keegan has had secret talks with Phil Tweddle about joining the Strollers! Phil, wary of Keegan’s intentions interviewed him at his home at Roker to find out what was going on. My sources (the woman next door to Phil who listened in to the conversation through the wall) informed me that Keegan is at breaking point and no longer has any confidence in managing football teams. However, Keegan thought that he may have something to offer the Strollers as he is quite good at ‘ doing a runner ‘. This was not Phil’s main worry however, as he thought in the interests of the club we could do without any miserable bastards joining us - anyway could he handle never winning races with the Strollers ! Phil thought not !! Keegan was told then to go and ‘sling his hook’ and bugger off. Keegan was having non of this and begged Phil to change his decision and reminded Phil that he had a good track record ! “That’s no good to us“ said Phil ......... “the Strollers don’t do any track races so piss off to Spain - and he did !!!GEOFF AND DICKA GO ON HARRIER SPYING MISSIONWe all have our own thoughts about our friends up the road namely the Sunderland Harriers but what actually do they do when they meet for a training run. Your Foreign Correspondents Geoff Prior and Paul ‘ Mr. Armani ‘ Dixon went along in disguise the other Sunday to find out !! Prepared for a 15 mile run at a pretty rapid pace I nearly shit myself when the first Harrier turned up at the session’s meeting place - a certain multi race winning GLEN FOSTER. I was prepared to gnash off home at that point but like a true Strollers in adversity we hung on in there and set off with a pack of about 6 runners including Dave Dixon who still cannot get out of the habit of turning out at Harrier sessions. Well what a disappointment - we only trotted around covering at a push 8 miles. To dispel any malicious rumours about the Harriers they did talk during the run and they were quite friendly despite Dave and I beating them in a zany sports quiz which seemed to confuse Glen Foster completely. Anyway, may I state that Dicka and I went through many agonising moments pondering whether or not to be seen out running with the Harriers but for the sake of providing you with this report we decided to bravely run with them ....................... so no more comments please like “ we’ll send you to Coventry lads” and “ turncoats” as Ian Seamans seemed to enjoy calling us. Many thanks to Glenn Foster, Brian Long , Ron Wills and John Maddison who provided Dicka and myself with the company for the morning.MORE NAUGHTY POEMSfrom John ‘Huey’ Wilson ‘THAT PARISIAN HILL
At the top of ’that hill’ in Paree, LINDA’S BLOKES
Chasing blokes Linda’s known to run miles,
YOUR MONTHLY SNIPPETSOHHHHHH YIPPEE I CAN’T WAIT - MORE WINTER TRAINING FOR THE 1997 LONDON MARATHONMESSAGE FROM WOODY - There will be no Chester - le - Steet 10K as the lazier sex (the lasses) only have to do a 5K race which won’t be fair ! Being one of the Beverley Sisters with John Wilson at the Xmas disco I couldn’t help notice how many times Strollers remarked that John looked quite natural in his dress and high heels !!! A belated 1996 award must go to DICKA who easily won the male best dresser of the year award. My favourite dress ensemble was his washed out T - Shirt and grubby trousers for the Christmas disco. Another belated 1996 award must also be given to DICKA for the best dresser of 1996 for the Poultry Run Christmas Santa outfit. It’s a pity that by the end of the race much of his white beard had developed a green tinge. I wonder what that could be?
STROLLER BIRTHDAYS FOR JANUARYRob Allington 28th Jan - 41 years oldColin Glass 18th Jan - 33 years old Bill Hitchcock 13th Jan - 46 years old Jackie Pitt 8th Jan - 37 years old Andy Reekie 26th Jan - 37 years old Colin Rump 10th Jan - 26 years old Ian Snowball 23rd Jan - 21 years old Paul Thomas 14th Jan - 34 years old WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!
|
Your 1997 Stroller HoroscopeFor the very first time Gypsy Rose Geoff has gazed into the smog of his sweaty Running Shoe and predicts your running stars for 1997 !!! ( Now you don’t get this service from the ‘ Running Monthly ‘ magazine )ARIES - A very worrying year ahead for Arians as there will be trouble in Uranus. Expect the shits for most of the year when racing! TAURUS - Travel is highlighted for 1997. So expect to visit exotic far reaching places such as Blyth, Loftus and Redcar!! GEMINI - Geminis are the worlds best moaners and 1997 you seem to be no different. Excel yourself then, and have regular swipes at Bob Blair for his tortuous training sessions! CANCER - Many problems are highlighted during 1997 so keep you cash to yourself and don’t gamble it on fruitless exercises like Dave Dixon’s money draw or Mickey’s raffle! LEO - 1997 will seem like a breath of fresh air to you ......... don’t expect to be running behind Chirpy as much!! VIRGO - For seniors 1997 will seem to be an up hill battle all year. Expect to struggle on Bob’s hill sessions. For veterans your already over the hill!! LIBRA - Expect poor health and failing / declining body parts throughout the year. Your vision will also seem to be letting you down especially when reading! SCORPIO - Gullible Scorpios will have a fantastic year ahead. Expect to beat all your main P.B’s and be in with a chance of winning the Club Championship - only kidding - dream on!! SAGITTARIUS - Injuries seem to be highlighted for the mid part of the year. Quick act now and take out a cheap BUPA Medical Plan and make the most of it!! CAPRICORN - Your stars read “ 3 minutes hard, 2 minutes easy”. So expect either lots of session running or frantic sex sessions!! AQUARIUS - As your star sign suggests being the water carrier you will have increasing difficulties with your bladder. Expect numerous piss stops during races!! PISCES - Regular visits to the pub mean you will be pisces most of the year. Be warned however, as Woody collars people to run in tough races at 9.30 on a Wednesday night when most people are pissed and will say yes to anything. HAVE A GOOD RUNNING YEAR YOU ALL - Mystic Geoff |
Run back home