This first quote is from the Coast to coast run...
Chirpy:
"I never went to sleep on that bus."
Dicka:
"My left foot didn't feel right."
Chirpy:
"Changing the subject completely, but it's about the same thing."
Vince:
"I can't run half marathons but I could run 10k's all night."
Chirpy:
"I can't talk about two twice at once".
Geoff:
"It was like a fairy sail tory."
Chirpy:
"That was the year me and you were in front of us, and me and Geoff were behind."
Gerry:
"I can remember things if they stick in my mind."
Chirpy:
"Bob's early, he hasn't arrived yet."
Geoff:
"Don't sit near the radiator or you'll get all sweat and hotty."
Chirpy: on March 7th.
"It's only the 4th. today 'cos it's February."
Sandra Maxwell:(while running the Paris to Versaille 14 mile)
"It's so hot this is just like running abroad."
Chirpy:
"There's a descent coming up."
Lesley:
"This is the first time I've been poorly this year." -Jan 1st 1997
Chirpy:
"Five sixes is thirty five, that's three and a half minutes."
Geoff:
"There were 3 of us in a line running two abreast."
Chirpy:
"Did you find out where the Benidorm half marathon is?"
Geoff:
"Yes, you did see what you saw."
Chirpy:
"I can't stand sitting here."
Malcolm:
"Scotland lost to the equaliser."
Michele:
"I'm all quai and shy-et"
Dave Dixon:
"The finish is about 500 yards from the finish."
Chirpy:
"It's nowhere near 2 months, it's only 8 weeks."
Phil Watson:
"We always draw 2-1."
Chirpy:
"We were just talking about that shirt, only it's the other one we were talking about."
Julie:
"The beginning of October? That's the first, isn't it?"
Chirpy:
"I don't know what I said, but I didn't say it."
Ken:
"What day is the Boxing Day dip?"
Keith:
"Luxembourg is the flatest half marathon I've done, it was all downhill."
Malcolm:
"I wasn't lost 'cos I knew I was going the wrong way."
Jacky:
"I've got a fortnights holiday for blackberry week."
Chirpy:
"The team consists of 3 people and a woman."
Geoff:
"People being people, they're just like sheep."
Chirpy:
"We get Channel 5 great, even on the telly."
Bob:
"Sheila's the man for the job."
Chirpy:
"I haven't worn mine yet because it's got spaghetti stains on it."
Chirpy:
"If you drink vodka you'll go dolittle."
Allen Routledge:
"I want that yellow sweat shirt the same but blue."
Chirpy:
"All these runs are on a Tuesday but the last one is on a Wednesday."
Sandra Maxwell:
"The car is parked outside somewhere."
Chirpy:
"The winner didn't even break wind."
Woody:
"If you want to know how fast you can run a marathon, take your 10k time and apply Wilson's Faeces."
Graeme:
"It's 80 minutes past 9."
Dave Clear:
"Me mam? I've known her ever since she was a kid."
John Wilson:
"Bob's a four letter word."
Geoff:
"It was a very dark black."
Woody:
"The rain put a damper on it."
Geoff:
"Raggons wole!"
Geoff (calling bingo):
"one and twelve, two."
Chirpy:
"I'm going to get a full house before I get a line at this rate."
Chirpy:
"Has anyone got any squashed eggs?"
Paul Thomas:
"That's what I like to hear, blood."
Geoff:
"Even the flat bits weren't flat."
Bob:
"No, we lose an hours sleep when the clocks go back."
Geoff:
"Ian Maxwell was dalking his wog."
Bob:
"Why are they shouting 'Peterlee's red and white army?'."
Chirpy:
"Alan Watson's not deaf, he shouted at me this morning."
Geoff:
"The handicap course is like a letter 8."
Bob:
"You only realise you're tired when your muscles conk in."
Phil Watson:
"Did you see that interview on the radio?"
Dave Clear:
"I've been out with the ramblers on a Saturday and a Sunday but never on a weekend."
Mickey Crozier:
"Shut up, here's a cancellation prize."
Linda:
"My hair's not as wet as when I wash it."
Linda:
"I did the same as Shiela but she beat me."
Chirpy:
"I've got those yellow bibs in all the colours."
Chirpy:
"Wimbledon have equalised? So it's nil-nil now?"
Woody (about a 6.9k race):
"Three of them fell with 7k to go."
Woody:
"Claire, what's your name?"
Ernie:
"Don't get me another Dougal Christmas cake for my birthday."
Lesley:
"How long is the London weekend?"
Lesley:
"He can have the cracket back, it's too tall for me."
Bob:
"I know how to order 2 beers in Yugoslavian, it's '2 beers please'."
Bob:
"Steve Hobday's a great roommate, as soon as he wants to do something, you do it."
Keith:
"We were touring Scotlands distilleries and sampling the wines."
Claire:
"April 21st? Is that Christmas?."
Lesley:
"9:52 pm? Is that morning or afternoon?"
Mickey:
"It's the first time I've ran on a Friday for a week."
Linda (playing basketball):
"Dicka always gets it off me."
Bob:
"Even when it's really wet, it's dry."
Chirpy:
"Bob, when you have a minute I want to talk sex..I mean sense."
Chairman Phil:
"I nearly died once, it nearly killed me."
Woody:
"Those of you not selected will be selected."
Linda:
"What day is Easter?"
Julie:
"He's just outside but I don't know where he is."
Chirpy:
"I'll definitely be there at 12 O'clock but if I'm not.. ."
Chirpy:
"Are we going to start from a different direction."
Wilson:
"I'll have a pint of Thornton's please."
Chirpy:
"It would have been better if the start had been in the middle."
Sandra Maxwell:
"What position did I come in?"
Woody (at the start of the race):
"Are those today's results?"
Derek Dixon:
"Ask him for his name and address and where he lives."
Derek Dixon:
"If you see anything lying around, pick it up. It'll come in handy even if you never use it."
Chirpy:
"I've never seen it and I don't like it but I watched it."
Dave Clear:
"I prefer standing in the Clock Stand seats."
Lesley:
"He walked into the showers starkers, with stupid undies on."
Phil Watson:
"I'm going to presentate him with it."
Geoff:
"There'll be blue bells over, the white cliffs of Dover."
Jacquie Pitt:
"I don't like gel, it makes your hair all spicey."
Geoff:
"Meet at the Barnes front entrance, that's the one on the outside."
Chirpy:
"If I had two hands I'd make a sandwich."
Edith Turnbull:
"Them French Francs are foreign to me."
Phil Watson:
"He speeded down and then slowed up."
Dawn:
"Do I know where I am yet?"
Paul Thomas:
"I think the 14 mile run is the same as the 12 mile run."
Paul Thomas (about a tri-athlon):
"The run and the swim were a bit hilly."
Kim:
"I'm going to dry my hair before it gets too dry."
Dawn:
"I'm taking it easy, I've got a groin string."
Lesley:
"You've got 7 brothers! Are they all boys?"
Lesley (phoning phil at home):
"Phil, where are you?"
Alan Tait:
"I've never ran a 10 mile before, except one."
Chirpy:
"Are you going to walk home so I can sit on your knee?"
Chirpy (on Wednesday night):
"I had Monday off and since then I've worked 72.5 hours."
Chirpy:
"Why can't Jacquies wife put the washing in?"
Julie:
"She's at work but she's at home now."
Dawn:
"I left my knickers in the back of Derek's car. I hope his wife doesn't find them 'cos they're full of holes."
Lesley:
"Is Freda a tom cat?"
Lesley:
"What's the name of that author? She writes books."
Lesley:
"I don't know her name but she's a woman."
Kim:
"Why are they having a wake? Has somebody died?"
Kim:
"I couldn't save wallpaper to hang my life."
Lesley:
"That hair transplant has gone to his head."
Mickey:
"I've got 3 cars now and four of them are out tomorrow."
Les Copeland:
"I prefer 10 mile half marathons."
Dave Dixon (certified course measurer):
"You'll be at the 8 mile mark, that's about 7 mile from the start."
Jacquie Pitt:
"What date is new years day?"
Chirpy:
"I couldn't chase myself today."
Jacquie Pitt (to Shiela Alcock):
"Shiela, who's this Shiela Alcock woman?"
Alyson Dixon:
"If you get lost, follow the car behind."
Adrian:
"There were highlights on Sky before the game."
Eddie:
"It wasn't until decimalisation that beer went up to two shillings a pint."
Sandra Maxwell:
"I can eat a whole cauliflower."
John Wilson:
"99p or a pound doesn't make a ha'p'orth of difference."
Ken:
"Go under the bridge that isn't there anymore."
Ken:
"Thai food is supposed to be the best of all the French."
Chirpy:
"The Chester-le-Street run is in Durham."
Woody:
"They're all the same but they're different."
John Wilson:
"That fella did a fell race, 39 mile with 9000 odd mile of ascent."
Ken:
"At this rate we'll be finished before we get three quarters of the way."
Phil Watson:
"The closing date has closed."
Chirpy:
"If I mentioned his name you'd know who I meant"
Malcolm:
"It's supposed to be under 3 mile, but it's a bit less than that."
Dicka:
"I saw him on Wednesday but he wasn't there."
Wilson:
"Round the corner is only just up the road."
Julie:
"You 2 look like triplets."
Phil Watson:
"Manchester is a road race on grass."
Leslie:
"We should start with the second bottom one and if that's OK then we can do the full bottom next year."
Stuart:
"Teams of 2? How many are in a team?"
Steve Ramsden:
"She must have led right from the finish."
Derek Dixon:
"Once you get to the top it's down all the way."
Chirpy:
"I'm going to say something daft."
Woody:
"Do you know whatisname? What is his name?."
Uncle Richie:
"My watch is dead right, except for being an hour out."
Phil Watson:
"After a run you've got to sit in an ice bath for as long as you can stand."
Woody:
"Are you passing urine when you pee?"
Michelle (about Uncle Geoff):
"that picture is funny, he looks like a real runner"
Michael Rumi (about trying to sign up a new Stroller):
"She is very nice, I try to get her in the club."
Angelo (to Sandra):
"I don't mean to be personal, but where do you like to be touched?"
Chirpy:
"I got woke up when I was asleep."
Chirpy:
"There's been nothing wrong but the bus broke down."
Malcolm:
"I can't run any faster in them slower distances."
Debs:
"He has one of those hats that you wear on your head."
Debs (about difficulty working after breaking her arm):
"I never realised how much I used my body to earn my living."
Debs:
"So who sells free computers?"
Debs:
"He told me to do 'left, right, left, right' but I got confused."
Vicki:
"You work here, you're not here to be at work."
Vicki:
"My mam's never had it off before."
Sandra:
"The Nike shoe man said I overprocrastinate."
Chirpy:
"There's 3 sizes to choose from, small, medium and little."
Woody:
"Is that April 31st?"
Chirpy:
"Sunderland had two or good three chances."
Derek:
"The 2 main scorers never scored."
Debs (28 Feb 2004):
"But this is the 20th century."
Vicki (about entering a quiz):
"It would have to be teams."
Vicki (the teacher):
"Is there one 'F' or two in fifteen?"
Vicki (on the 'phone):
"Is me dad there, either one will do."
John Mendez:
"Did you slam the door shut on your tent?"
Dave Dixon (about a hungry Paul Taylor):
"He eats like a lotus."
Ken Maynard:
"What day is it next Wednesday?"
Anne Kirk:
"Men are notorious for getting stiff."
Chirpy:
"I told him where the finish was, it's at the end."
Chirpy:
"It's black flavoured orange."
John Wilson:
"We could offer a free photograph for a pound a head."
Malcolm:
"It's quite flat, there's about six hills."
Tracy (to Dicka):
"When I find out where you live I'm going to come round and knock you up."
Tracy:
"How will I know when I've been entered?"
Tracy:
"Lots of men have got pink ones."
Dicka:
"Mickey says he's starting the Monday night sessions next Wednesday."
Deborah:
"Dicka, your little man was great!"
Ken:
"Everyone brings one of some thing, like four pies."
Noel:
"Definitely put me down as a possible."
Brian:
"When it comes to hygiene, I'm anal."
Brian:
"I've set up a netless wirework..I mean a wireless network."
Derek Dixon:
"I was late on Monday night so I came through the underpants."
Tracy T:
"I do wear clothes when I go out partying."
Laura:
"Stay awake for a bit until she notices you're asleep."
Jill (putting her coat on upside down):
"I'm not drunk!"
Brian:
"When they came to crossing the stream the women were like a bunch of fannies."
Woody (paying race entry fees):
"There's no charge for age groups, you just pay for the sex."
Heather:
"I took it off because people were saying 'you've still got your clothes on'."
Laura:
"It starts with a P and ends in a mouth."
Kevin O'Neill:
"I started my stop instead of my start."
Laura:
"I don't know the way but I know the route."
Chirpy:
"I've been under ten miles 2 or 3 times in the Great North Run."
Chirpy:
"It's a lot better than it is."
Mario:
"When you get to the end you're more or less half way."
Anne Kirk (after 2 days navigation practice in The Lakes):
"When we came to the end of that lakey bit.."
Jill:
"He was 400 metres in front, I could see him miles ahead."
Chirpy:
"I just took my trousers off and it fell out."
Jon:
"If we'd been lost but we knew where we were then we'd have been OK."
Chirpy:
"If it was me coming passed you in the last 200 I'd have come passed you."
Lindsay:
"I don't want to be quoted."
Fiona:
"It must be really hard being fast and having to keep up with the slow runners."
Tracy:
"The mouse thing was like a banana with a ball on it, but I got it in the end."
Heather:
"I'll tell her about my jugs."
Fiona (the teacher):
"I'm more of an oral languager person."
Vicky:
"They start at school when they're 3 but the lowest class is for four year olds."
Debs:
"Boys need to keep it short."
Bob:
"I'm here for the drink, not for the beer.
Woody:
"I don't enter women."
Angelo:
"There's nothing at all wrong with it, the only thing wrong is .. ."
Alison:
"I'll go anywhere as long as I'm flying with someone."
Dave Dixon:
"I've been to Italy, just over the border, that part of Switzewrland."
Gillian:
"I finished just behind the person in front of me."
Bob:
"Things dry better when they're wet.
Heather:
"I feel like I've been kicked by a horse in the cow."
Vicki (the Harrier):
"I've never been right since I joined the Strollers."
Debs:
"I'm slowly getting a bit faster."
Debs:
"Sticking it down your top is not a good idea."
Jill W (explaining why she doesn't often visit her mother):
"My mam visits me more often because she lives closer."
Debs:
"You have to have bare feet on to do it."
Chirpy:
"It's like a forward roll in reverse."
Chirpy:
"Do you want them doing now or straight away?"
Woody:
"This weather you never get one day the same."
Michelle Holt:
"This was brand new when it came out but it isn't anymore."
Chirpy:
"I've only been to Germany once, we went to Luxembourg"
Woody:
"I know it sounds tough but once you get to the top of Penshaw Monument it's all downhill."
Alison:
"I got my front leg massaged."
Alison:
"We do a lot of separate things together."
Vicki:
"Bring a boy or girl or dog or cat, whatever you're sleeping with."
Cath:
"If you can get in touch, can you do Debs?."
Chirpy (while standing on top of Pavey Ark at 650m (2,100ft):
"Ee, it's like being on top of a mountain up here."
Chirpy (referring to his t-shirt):
"I'm wearing these shorts 'cos my thingy's so long."
Maria:
"I like whiskey, it's called Glen something."
Maria:
"Isn't it strange how you can get disintoriated."
Ken:
"It wasn't my idea, I just suggested it."
Maria:
"I'm going to strip off in the car park and I don't give a knickers."
Maria:
"When you see this great massive horse come over you, it's frightening."
Chirpy:
"When I get to Liverpool I'm going to weld my locking walnuts together."
Mario:
"We run around the streets so it keeps us off the streets"
Dave Dixon:
"At your age you get even older shortly."
Peter Darke:
"I know you're not married but what's your wife called?"
Peter Darke:
"He has this system, if his curtains are open he's either in or out."
Vicki:
"For God's sake, pull your shorts down."
MTH:
"How did you get on at that Strawberry Topping race on Tuesday?"
Ken:
"There were these guys from Hungaria.."
Chirpy:
"That's the first time I've heard you speechless."
Mario:
"I live just around the corner as the crow flies."
Joy:
"I do like furry things."
Alison:
"Size doesn't matter, I've had some big ones run passed me."
Jill:
"Dicka, you look dreamy in the morning."
Debs (PhD in Anatomy):
"The penis an the boobs develop from the same structure."
Alison:
"I'll be sharing a tent with Joy but I'll be doing it with a man."
Chirpy:
"Malcolm's just said that but he couldn't say it."
Val:
"If anyone wants an easy night they can come with me."
Chirpy:
"Malcolm's just said that but he couldn't say it."
Chirpy:
"I can remember his name but I can't."
Alison:
"I fancy doing it upside down."
Vicki:
"I would do it but I wouldn't wear a bra and knickers."
Steve Ramsden:
"I was never cold all the way round, I had hypothermia when I finished but I was still warm."
Joy:
"I always know where I'm going sometimes."
Joy:
"I'll be on my back in a minute."
Joy:
"I knew Wenceslas Square was in Russia but it wasn't."
Alison:
"There's nothing going on between Paul O'Neill and Joy, he was with me. It's Ian Maxwell that took Joy to bed."
Alison:
"Let's do it on the bus, Terry, it'll give us something to do."
Joy:
"Time is creeping over quite fast."
Joy:
"Anthony, I came after you."
Alison:
"I'm going to go down as Santa, jump in, then take all my clothes off on the beach."
Jill (to Dicka):
"You make everyone come."
Joy:
"She walked to the Roly Hosary church."
Joy:
"Ooh, this is a proper park, there's bushy bits."
Alison:
"I'll just wear clothes, then."
Laura:
"Kath's got a man's one."
Big Lynne:
"Me knickers are soaking."
Terry:
"When are the Tuesday fell races?"
Joy:
"I never question anything, do I?"
Joy:
"I had to pull my t-shirt up to get in."
Alison:
"I do your bum."
Alison:
"It's only 'cos I can't get it out with my throat."
Jill (to 4 men in a pub):
"I haven't got a husband there so you can all come back."
Alison:
"If I was a woman .. ."